You Can Have Your MTV

So you might of caught this, you might not of.  I wanted to write about it when they launched the site, but the sheer magnitude of the site caused my brain to turn into pudding.  Which I ate.  And pooped out.  Then I put it back in my head and used it fertilizer to grow a new brain.  That’s why it took so long.  Anywho, some of you older hipsters might recall a time when the television reigned supreme for our entertainment.  Along those lines came a glorious addition to tv.  It was the M.  The music to your tv if you will.  It was this channel, that played music.  Like all the time.  They had these visual “videos” to go with the music.  Everyone was happy and rejoiced.  Hooray!  And then they broke it.  This masterful channel that played music videos and talked about music all day stopped showing anything remotely close to music.  In fact they stopped showing anything coming close to entertainment.  The masses became angry and said “I want my MTV!” Oh snap!  So like any huge corporation that’s totally evil and not looking out for the comrade’s people’s interest they came out with MTV2.  And it played music all the time, and the people were happy.  Hooray!  Then they broke that and came out with twelve other mtv channels that no one watches.  Lord I should know, I get them all.  I haven’t watched MTV since I finished puberty(Last week.)

So what have they done now?  Well with the onset of the netterwebs and the obvoius follow up of monetizing the netterwebs came mtv.com.  Great!  A website dedicated to information about the music tv channel that never plays music.  At least they have music videos there.  Thats cool.  Too bad the site became a giant cluster fuck of ads about the hills or some stupid shit.  Do you see where this is going yet?  Oh I sure didn’t.  They came from behind and yanked on my penis.  Hard.  And not the good hard.  Because MusicTV’s website, mtv.com, was so clustered, they decided to created mtvmusic.com a website dedicated to music videos.  They called their site MusicTVMusic.  StupidFuckingStupid.  But then again werefuckingwankers.com and imagiantdouche.com were taken.  It’s so hard to find good domains these days.  The tag line for the site is “I want my MTV.”  No kidding.  So do I.

In their defense, the site ain’t half bad.  Tons of videos with a nice design.  Not too many ads, but I’m sure they’ll get that fixed here soon.  The one complaint I have is the quality.  It’s terrible.  I mean sure, I get it, they didn’t shoot Thriller in HD.  But why do brand new music videos look like they were stolen off of some twelve year old’s rip he posted on youtube?  I get you haven’t been able to monetize this yet, but you have the cash to provide some high quality music videos and a chance to get a whole new generation to understand what MTV was suppose to be.  And guess what if people heard about this awesome new site from MTV where they have high quality music videos people would come and watch videos there.  You’ve provided no reason to leave youtube when looking for music videos.  I know I hate looking for a music video on youtube, instead of the video you get some kid playing the base line with some midi track on a keyboard.  Isn’t that the intention of putting up this website?  If not pardon me, and don’t forget to enjoy your tard.  Take care and funk on.

P.S.  You can have your MTV.